Rest, Relaxation and Reflection on Cape Clear Island…

20180617_153127Looking out over the Cape Clear North harbor, its a foggy, misty kind of day, as it was yesterday. When I arrived here Friday afternoon- after having to dash for the ferry as the bus was running late- but made it-phew- it was mostly sunny and blue skies.
After arriving at my present digs- with an amazing view of the North Harbor, I wandered down around the small harbor, went to the store/restaurant and ordered some fries- known here as chips- and sat outside taking in the view. Later that night I went back to the store/restaurant and had pizza, as it was pizza night. It was really good.
That night I slept like a rock.
The next day I went for a bit of a walk and ended up taking one of the two walking loops they have here on the island. The Glen Loop walking trail, and am I ever glad I did. I had no idea the surprise I would be in for. As I walked up the trail, and some points a little bit of a scramble, I found myself on the top of the island, overlooking the Atlantic ocean, and could see the Fastnet lighthouse in the distance. It was beautiful, breathtaking and it was a wee bit windy. I just stretched out my arms, breathed it all in and reminded myself, I was really on Cape Clear Island, in Ireland!!!!
I walked through various types of vegetation, small gorse bushes, ferns, various grasses and the scenery was beautiful. At some points you could see where the ocean met the island as the waves crashed in. I eventually made my way back, I had been a bit turned around- you know my dyslexic brain and map reading- but got back, had a shower and then later went down the the pub for dinner.
I slept like a rock that night also.
Yesterday morning upon waking up, it was as it is today, foggy and misty, but not cold. I spoke to the host Mary, and she told me her husband says it was going to clear up a bit around noon, and he was right.
So around 1:00 pm I went for a walk on the other side of the island, and did walk -literately- to the other end of the island as once again I got turned around. I was looking for two neolithic upstanding stones, called the Marriage Stones. I had heard about these from my family doctor, and an acquaintance in Ontario, both whom have visited this island many times.
After taking the wrong road- well actually missing the road- then taking another wrong road- they all look like driveways here, ending up in the wrong muddy farmers field, I persevered and found the correct muddy farmers field. However, there was a gate with a “Beware of Bull ” sign- I didn’t see any bull. But being the polite Canadian that I am, I didn’t want to trespass on anyone’s property. So went back down that road, got back onto the main road and started walking back thinking there must be another way in.
Did I mention the killer hills that are on this island?
There was no other way so I said screw it, went back down to the field, found a way in and went to the stones. It was amazing standing there before them. There is a hole in one of these stones and it is said that when folks got married, or commit to each other they would hold hands through the hole . Also, the hole aligns exactly with a passage grave on the neighboring island, and during sunrise of the Summer Solstice the stone lines up exactly with the suns alignment. I will be here for the summer solstice. We will see if the sun shows itself.
It was amazing standing there, wondering who had stood there before, and the fact that I knew 2 people, who live 3000 miles away from each other in Canada,do not know each other, and they had indeed, stood before these very same stones.
Who had put these up, why, etc.? Of course being the person that I am, as I have done with my trip around Ireland, I kept touching the stones, feeling its texture, the crevasses, getting a feel for them, and the land they are on. Wondering how smooth they were when put up 5000 years ago. 5000 years ago…imagine, I’m touching something that was put up 5000 years ago. It still amazes me. And I still have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming!
After spending time there, having a drink and a snack it was time to head back to the North harbor. I took my time and just reveled in the moment.On the walk back I could see the hills I had climbed the day before were still enshrouded in fog and mist. I got back to my digs, another shower- you work up a sweat with these hills. and put band-aids on my blisters. I wore the wrong socks..that will teach me.
I then went down to the pub for dinner, had a glass or two of Guinness and met 4 lovely ladies who are staying in the yurts just down the road. And one of these ladies loves Orca’s, I mean who could blame her. Also, apparently there were Basking sharks in the south harbor that morning. So we talked of our adventures- they were kayaking in the South Harbor, I told them about my trip, and my adventures in trying to find the Marriage stones.

They asked where they were. I told them…”You go straight down that road with the killer hill over there, you keep going straight and you will see a peach/pink colored house, you don’t turn there..” and they all started laughing saying- ..”yep, you have been here long enough, your talking like us, your an honorary Irish now” I just laughed.
I love this island. Its another one of those magical places, that speaks to me and feed’s my soul. There is something about this place, I don’t know what it is, and I may never know, but there is something. I find it amazing how some places can have such a strong feeling for me, and its as if my ancestors are speaking to me, reassuring me I am not alone and that they know I am here.
I came on this trip for many reasons and one was because I wanted to return to a land I never been, and be in the place that has called my soul since I was a small child. I also wanted to honor my ancestors that gave me the genes to survive what I did, and to lay old ghosts to rest, the family legacy of pain that had been handed down for generations. I think I have been doing that and doing it well, with care, with love and with authenticity.

And when I have landed on those sacred spaces- as this island is and feels- its like the ancestors know, because as much as I’m giving them- hopefully peace and rest- they are giving back. They are helping me find who I am, giving me strength, and as the women on Inishmore told me…” your Irish is speaking and you are now rooted in the subsoil and being nourished.” That’s what this feels like. I am here on this island, with every fiber of my being receiving nourishment that it has been looking for all my life. And I know it will stay with me when I go back home.
I think of those two people I know back in Canada, who both mentioned this island, and both surprised when I mentioned I had been told to come here. It was then I knew I had to come. I’m so glad I followed my instincts, and so very grateful they pointed me this way. And my ancestors are happy they did also.
I am here for 5 more full days, I leave Saturday on the noon ferry. I have a few things planned but not much, and know I will go on many walks and visit the marriage stones a few more times. I also know the ancestors will speak to me in their own time, in their own way and I will honor them. I will sit, I will listen and I will learn.
In the meantime I think I will go and place a few pebbles from home in the harbor.
Thanks for contuiing to come along with me on this journey.
Suzy                                                                                                                                                           To learn more about this magical place here is a link

http://www.capeclearisland.ie/index

Navigating…

 

Tomorrow is another travel day, I will be making my way to Cape Clear Island.

Yesterday I walked 15 minutes down the road to a short ferry crossing, crossed over and walked into Cobh. It took me 30-45 minutes to get there. It was cloudy, windy and it did eventually rain later in the afternoon.

Cobh has an amazing history, the buildings are colorful and the scenery can be stunning, even on a wet day.  I walked around, took pictures, eventually walked up to the St. Colman’s Cathedral. It is stunning, inside and out.  I could have spent hours in there looking at the carvings, tile work, stained glass etc. Wondering who were the craftsman, did they have families, what were they thinking, etc. As I walked along the tiled floor I wondered who had walked here before me and for how long.

I eventually made my way down to grab something for lunch and wander some more. The rain stared to come and did not stop so I decided I would grab a cab back to the ferry landing instead of walking for 30-45 minutes in the rain. I then did the 15 minute walk back and relaxed for the rest of the day.

Today, in the home where  I’m staying,  is one of the housemates birthdays . Last night he made an amazing dinner for us all- he used to be a chef- and it was a 5 Star dinner. And I was included in this event, it was lovely.

Here I was, in a home, and a country I do not live, but was included as part of the group. I looked around the table and thought..” how very fortunate am I to be here at this time.” Here around the table were 3 Irish folks, 1 from Spain, 1 from Latvia and her adorable 3 year old, and myself.  Here, at this table was a richness of humanity, and  genuine authenticity. It was a delightful evening and certainly not something I would get if I was staying in a hotel.

This is why I am staying with airb&b, and Homestay.com  I didn’t want a “antiseptic” experience of Ireland, meaning hotels …which I couldn’t afford, where you are in and out, and don’t get to know the folks who are serving you, or the area you are staying. Traveling solo has its challenges, and connections with others helps keep me in the present. Yes, I am doing a lot of thinking, writing etc while on this trip, but human connection is really important. It also helps me grow, push myself out of my own comfort zone, and become more confident in myself and what I can do.

That being said, I still have, and imagine I will,  continue to have blips and bumps, along the way. I had one last night in the wee hours of the night. It was very windy and raining and I woke in a panic with the thought..” what happens if the ferry sailing to Cape Clear Island is cancelled because of a storm? As I said before, I know my past and present will be bumping against each other and this was one of those moments. I am getting better at recognizing and picking up on these moments.  I am also getting better at recognizing that I tend to go into “survival mode” 24- 36 hours before I move onto my next location. I have decided to call this “Locked, Loaded and Ready” meaning its like I’m  preparing for battle, but these battles are from my past.

Very often, more then I care to remember, I would come home from school and everything would be packed as we were going to move that evening, or other times, I was woken in the middle of the night as there was great commotion and we would once again be moving. These would happen with no warning and was often a result of my parents not having any rent money, owed rent money etc. Put this onto of all the other crap that was going on and you would see one very frightened, little kid. There was no warning, no goodbye to friends etc.

No wonder I have these moments while on this trip, but the good news is I know whats going on, and am able to do what I need to do to take care of myself during these times. And I am getting better at it, and realize where these emotions and anxiety are coming from. And I am able to be pro active.

This morning I contacted Cape Clear Island Ferries and asked about local accommodation in case of ferry cancellations, and they informed me its all good sailing today and tomorrow 🙂  In the past, I would not have been able to do this, I would have been in “Locked, Loaded and Ready” mode and stayed there for a week or so, if not longer in the beginning of my journey. This once again shows me how far I have come.

In the past, I would also not have been able to accept and partake in the invitation to the amazing dinner last night, sit around chat and laugh with the folks and felt blessed and fortunate for the experience.

I have noticed on this trip that while the buildings and city’s are nice, its the land and experiences with folks, like last night, that speak to me and  have enriched me in ways I could never imagine, and will continue to enrich my tapestry of life, long after I get home..

Thanks for continuing to come along this journey with me.

PS- here is a link to the stature I took a picture of and wanted to include at the begging of this post, but cant figure out how to do it

http://vanderkrogt.net/statues/object.php?webpage=ST&record=ie135

 

Stepping Into The The Unknown Does Not Mean Stepping Into Danger….

Welcome back everyone and thank you for traveling with me.

I’m sitting here in the morning, drinking my morning tea, trying to wake up,  and thinking about this past week, and the past 4 weeks.

Last week I was in Ennis, a lovely town, with narrow streets, colorful store fronts, music and I had a lovely host Brid. She came and picked me up at the bus station when I arrived and she was wonderful to me. We had great talks and lots of laughs, I met her family when they visited and she has a great sense of humor.

After starting my 2nd day there with a bit of a tummy bug and not feeling great- things got sorted and I went into the tourist office in Ennis.

I  asked if there were any day tours, there were so I booked one for the next day.  It went through the Burren , stopped at a Dolmen,  – stopped at a small pub for lunch- cant remember the name- and we ended up at the cliffs of Moher. It was stunning. It was a good day out and I met some lovely folks. But I wanted more of the Burren.

I searched for guides, sent emails etc, and eventually was able to book one for Thursday Morning for a few hours.

She would pick me up in Ennis, take me for a walk on the Burren, and then bring me back. So the next morning we got together and away we went. She needed to stop at her house  for a few minutes, so that’s what we did, had tea and scones, watched some lovely miniature ponies and petted her 2 lovely dogs. She then took me for a walk in the heart of the Burren, it was amazing.

It was magical- I know I have been saying this a lot on this trip. If you drive by you may think that its a bare, sterile, limestone landscape. It is anything but. Here is a living, breathing , fertile land. If you stand still long enough you will  see and feel this majestic place in your bones and in your soul. I did. And yes, I cried- good tears, but this feeling of connection to this land, in its various forms,  moves me to tears.

My guide, Marie pointed out various flower and fauna, pointed the “erratic ” huge boulders left behind by  the glacier that covered this land, explained how the cows help by eating  the invasive species which allows the natural plants to grow and thrive. She also explained how beef raised on the Burren have a much better flavor as they are eating these plants and wild herbs such as Sage, which smelled lovely. Meadowlarks and other birds live there and I heard my 1st meadowlark song. I also heard the Cuckoo  bird again.

From now on, whenever I hear a cuckoo clock, I will think of Ireland and the people and places I was when I heard the real thing.

Marie suggested some quiet time n my own- perfect- so I laid down on a large rock formation. It was a warm day out and I was surprised at how much cooler the  rock was. I closed my eyes and listened to the silence, breathing in the Burren, so it will be carried with me, and felt it in my bones. Then the Medowlark started singing, and it song just kept going, and going, and going. It was amazing.

To soon, it was time to go, and we headed off. Marie had another tour group that afternoon, but she made a suggestion. She could drop me off in a small village, Corifin, where there is the Burren National Park information center, and I could get a free shuttle up to the park and do some walks. The park is on the other side f the place we were just at. And then she or her husband would pick me up around 5:00 and take me back to Ennis.

At first my anxiety was shooting up, and I was thinking nope, but I realized it was my anxiety, I was safe and I want to be in the Burren, so I agreed. So, she dropped me off, I picked up some water,  and I did get the the National park, and it was such a different landscape, there were some woodlands, meadows and more grass. I did a couple of the shorter loop walks, as it was really warm and to hot to do the 3 hour hikes. It was amazing.

After I went to a small cafe in the village and had something to eat, went back to the information center, watched their videos and learned more about the park. And just after 5:00 pm, Marie’s husband Mike, picked me up and took me back to Ennis.

It was an adventure filled day.

I have, and continue to learn many things about myself, and the world  on this trip. And as I said before, I knew on this trip that my past would be bumping into the present and this is a prime example. I’m glad I stepped into the unknown, because it has helped reinforce, that stepping into the unknown does not equal danger, as it did growing up. Growing up, I needed to know what was going on, when , etc, because it was about survival. This trip is not about survival, this trip is about recovering who I am, returning to a place that has called me for years, and experiencing the people and places.

Stepping into the unknown does not mean I don’t use my common sense, be wise and smart, and aware of  my surroundings, make plans  etc.  But it does mean, that in general, the world is a safe place, I am safe, and I do not need to be in survival mode.

If you think about it, this whole trip is stepping into the unknown, and I know I will go back home a much more confident, more whole and richer person.

Those are my thoughts for the day…thanks for coming along

Suzy

 

An Enchanted Land…..

It’s my last evening on  this enchanted island of Inishmore. It has been an amazing, magical and sometimes challenging 5 days here. I have become more comfortable with the landscape, and with myself.  It has been an interesting transformation.

 

I have had some interesting conversations with folks from all over, and the locals. I have talked to people from the USA, Canada, Ireland,  Germany. I have had surprising conversations with some local folks and had lots of laughs.

A couple days ago I was at a local pub getting some lunch. There was a family a few tables over, a mom, 2 children, a boy around 11 and a girl around 14 and a grandma. The family had finished their lunch and they were talking about going for ice creme. The boy says, ” I’m not buying ice creme I’m saving money for a puppy” Then Grandma says             “Micheal, I told you, you’re not getting a dog, there is a giant rat in the basement that will do you”  I just about fell off my seat laughing.

The next day I was coming out of the grocery store and this women starts speaking Irish to me. I guess the non response from me gave her an idea that I could not speak it. Then she says to me, “I’m sorry, I thought you were a local” I don’t mind. So we sat outside eating our ice creme and chatted. She asked where I was from, what I’m doing here, how long I have been in Ireland etc. So, I told her all about my trip etc. I also told how I have been feeling about Ireland and how it seems to be feeding my soul. She said, “That’s your Irish calling and talking. Its like you have been planted and lived in soil all your life, but now  your roots ave reached and found the subsoil and pulling up the nutrients” yep, that’s what its like.

I have been riding a bike for the last 5 days as transportation, I forgot how much fun that can be, and have been fine with getting off the bike and pushing it up one of the many hills. Back home I would have pushed myself till I was dying  and berate myself for not making it to the top of the hill with out getting off of stopping.

I have noticed how some old coping patterns still show up when I’m stressed and have been working on that.

I have woken up to the amazing cornucopia of bird song and heard the the Cuckoo bird singing its heart out while walking or cycling. I have become a familiar face  to some of the locals who know me by name, and the lodging I have been staying at is amazing and they have been warm and welcome.  Everyone on this island have engulfed me with care, laughter, and concern. It has been magical in so many ways. From the gentleman who gets water for his cows every morning and chats with me, to where I’m staying, to the workers ask me how I’m doing and chat. The local who saw me drop off my bike this afternoon, and I needed a cab ride back to the lodging, who picked me up but refused a fee. They have all welcomed me, made me feel at home, and part of this community.

As I wrote in the last post, the 7000 miles of stone walls are like fingers that stretch across this land, holding it down and secure from the storms. This has been an amazing 6 days, its had its challenges, but this has also allowed me to stretch my roots, down  into the subsoil of the land of my ancestors, into myself to discover who I am and what I an do.

Tomorrow I leave this magical place on the noon ferry.  I hope to one day be back, or maybe even be back for a few days later on my trip if it works out. I have taken lots of photos, have great memories, and tonight I will go for a walk and leave a few pebbles from home, somewhere amongst  the many stone walls, along with a small pewter medallion that says “Connection”

For this island has given me connection to the land, and to myself, and for that, I am full of gratitude.

Thanks for joining me.  Come along with me to my next stage of my Epic Irish odyssey…

Next stop…Ennis.

 

The Felt Sense of Ireland…..

“Felt sence”- Philosopher Eugene Gendlin coined the phrase “felt sense ” as a concept of which ” functions as a connection between the mind and body….the unclear, pre-verbal sense of “something” the inner knowledge or awareness “

Well, it seems like my felt sense had been on overdrive since landing in Ireland.

I am now sitting at my accommodations on Inis Mor (Inishmore ) island. I landed by ferry last night, and this morning I got a ride into the village and rented a bike, and biked back taking the lower, coastal route. Once again it is beyond sensational, beautiful, and seems to be feeding something deep in my soul. As I have said in a previous post…its like some deep ancient dry fiber in my soul and being is finally being watered and nourished There is nothing I can measure this with, no scientific test or measurement etc. But it is something I feel deep, deep within my soul, within my very being.

Everywhere I have been in this land I have felt it one way or another, and if I am quiet and still long enough, pay attention and listen, it speaks to me. The more I do this the more I realize that it speaks on many levels. I am starting to believe that Ireland has many levels to her being. Its hard to explain, but this very fleeting sense is the land speaking to me.

For those of you that know me, you know I am connected to nature in a huge way, it feeds my soul, rejuvenates and clears my mind and has been a huge component in my healing journey. Nature heals on so many levels, often I don’t even realize it till after the fact, as it sifts through my being, and stays with me long after I come indoors.

The same is happening here but on a much deeper, deeper level.

In my healing journey and mental health work I have come across research in “Epigenitics” – and have become interested in the theory that trauma of your ancestors can be passed down via DNA, to the offspring. In other words, trauma from a parent, can be passed onto their children.

There was a study with rats, where the rats were in Rat Hotel, all happy, then the researchers would put the scent of cheery blossoms into the cage, as they did something negative to them. After doing this a few times, whenever the scent of cheery blossoms was put into the cage, the rats would run and gather in a corner and shake, even if there was no negative actions. The rats remembered.

So, these rats then had babies, and no time during the pregnancy or after birth were they exposed to any negative treatment, or the scent of cherry blossom. These baby rats then grow up, move out of Mom and Dads Rat Hotel and move into their own Rat Hotel. They then have babies, and for the 1st time, those now adult rats, and their offspring are exposed to the smell of cherry blossoms, and guess what happens? Yep, they run to the corner and shake, even though they had never in their life been exposed to the negative treatment or the scent of cherry blossoms. Their DNA holds the memory. I find this fascinating and it’s very important for people who are working with folks who have experienced trauma, and their families.

You may wonder why am I telling you this. I’m telling you this because I wonder if this is why I am finding this land of Eire feeding my soul and whispering to me in ways I cant explain. Does, somewhere deep in my DNA remember this land, the language of its varied landscapes and sacred spaces. Am I being nourished by the very lands that nourished my ancestors?

As I write this a thought comes to mind. Is this how the Indigenous population back home feel about the lands? After all, that is the land of their ancestors. If so, I now have a better understanding.

As I look out the window now, I see hundreds of dry stone walls follow the hills and crevices of this island, like the braille of the land. And I guess I’m like the blind, reading the land of my ancestors, not with my eyes, but with my senses. I know I will be changed, more whole and authentic and like when I’m in nature, the benefits will carry with me when I go back home.

Those are my thoughts for today, thanks for joining me on this journey, and come along with me to see where this goes…

Suzy

It’s All About Connections….

20180528_194738260353330221042710.jpgTo start with this blog, I would like to thank everyone for reaching out, supporting me and letting me know I am not the only one to experience this Homesickness thing. As I said it was all new to me. But, by hearing the stories of others I realized its not “just me”, and with that came a knowledge and understanding I will get through this. Others who have gone before me shared their wisdom of what it was like for them, and folks sent me links on how to help with it and get through this. You have no idea how much I appreciate your love and support, it has made a difference.

If all goes well, this time tomorrow I should be on  the ferry about 15 minutes from Inishmore Island. The largest of the Aran islands in Galway Bay.  I have reserved a bike, and will pick that up sometime Wednesday. I will be there for 6 nights, and I want to ride, walk and write while I get the feel for the land, and yes I did bring rain gear just in case.

This morning I had a bit of anxiety/panic- who knows why, sometimes it just is, and after doing what I could, for the last few days- it just would not settle, so I took some medication for it, it was 1/4 of a pill, but it seemed to do the trick. It took the edge off and I was able to carry on and enjoy my day. I spent it walking around Sligo, writing, walking some more, watching ducks, pigeons and children. I thought about my last week here, the struggles, the accomplishments and growth, the people I have met and the amazing places I have scene.

I also wondered why I did not think of taking 1/4 of a pill before to help me. Well, its because the anxious brain does not always have the ability to think such things. And I also thought, if I am going to talk the talk and tell people there is no shame in taking medication, I should walk the walk. So once I was able to think these things, I took the medication. And it made a world of difference.

And with the ability to be calm, I could realize, and feel that even if I am over 7000 km from home, the people I love, who love me,and home, are right here with me, and that is huge. I was sitting by the river, writing when this realization came over me. The birds were singing, the river water sounded like  the wind gentle blowing through the cottonwood trees back home, and kids were laughing.

And something in me shifted and settled, and a calmness came over me. And I thought about connection and how it can make all the difference in the world, even 7000 km away from home.

And I thought of the work I do around mental health, and if I am ever doubt I make a difference, I will read this blog to remind myself, that I, and connection does make a difference.

Here in Ireland they have the Green Ribbon Campaign, to help bring awareness an to get people to start to openly talk about mental health. I found those ribbons today and promptly put one on my backpack. Why did I do this? Because I now what its like to realize your not alone, and we are ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, NO MATTER WHERE WE ARE IN THE WORLD.

Thanks again for being on this journey with me, and onto the next adventure- which really means I have to go pack. Stay turned….

PS- here is the link to the green Ribbon campaign

http://www.yourmentalhealth.ie/get-involved/community-action/green-ribbon-campaign/

 

Homesickness…

Three weeks ago today I was flying somewhere over Canada on my way to Ireland, my dream trip, a 48 year dream. I have met some amazing people and I have done a lot of “firsts” I have crossed things off my bucket list and been awed by the landscape of this country and amazed at the people I have met, but there is one thing I never really betted on, and that is being homesick. I knew I would miss home, but to actually feel homesick is a bit of a surprise.

I don’t ever remember being homesick before, or I should say “felt” homesick before. I my have been homesick in the past, but being so disconnected from my emotions, I never felt them. so yes, at the ripe age of 58, for the 1st time in my life, I am feeling homesick, and it has hit me like a ton of bricks, but I am told this shall pass.

I have tried to write different blogs here, but I realized today that until I write the truth of where I am, nothing else is going to come forward. I also realize that I have to be authentic in my writing, and traveling solo is not all smiles that I have posted on Facebook.

I have read a bit in travel books about missing home, but none have really gone into what it feels like to be homesick. That may also be because these folks had normal upbringings and went through this when they were kids, and got through it.

Homesickness is not a nice feeling, its more then longing and missing things you are use to, like your own shower or bed. your regular walks, coffee shops etc. Its more then missing the scenery and friends, family and those you love. Of course there is the emotional side, but there is also the physical part of it. For 3 mornings in a row I have woken up shaky, nauseous and can not swallow more then tea and toast in the morning. My neck hurts, my shoulders are stressed and I have not been sleeping great. I have been awake for the last 3 mornings between 2:00 am- 5:00 am and having broken sleep. I have been feeling anxiety and panic, and of course as you all know me, this brings up past stuff, issues, fears etc. Nope, they don’t write about this in the travel books.

But, as hard as this has been for me, and believe me it has. There have been moments I have had to just focus on my breathing and telling myself I will get through it, and yes I have cried , and cried hard. But there is an up side to this. I am “feeling homesick” , the operative word is “feeling”. For so many,many years I was numb and felt nothing, or afraid of emotions, so pushed them aside. So the fact that I am feeling what I am feeling is a good thing. This has also taught me that I am more connected to so many people and places in my life then I realized. And in a way, allowing myself to feel like shit, or as they say here “shite” it shows me how far I have come, how much I am loved, and how much I love others.

They say travel changes a person, funny how I had to travel through 8 time zones, and over 7000 km to find out how much I really am connected to home.

To help myself get through this I will stay connected to my family and friends, I have been in email contact with my therapist, and I need to make self care the #1 priority, which for me, means rest, walk, write, and write some more.

Thanks for joining me on this journey, and lets see what the next discovery is

Suzy