Waiting For My Soul Catch Up….

20180704_1524117151326916145026418.jpgHere it is December, and Ireland is still sending me lessons, messages and inspiration. It does not matter that we are 7000 km apart. Like a good mother, her love, encouragement and faith is with me wherever I go. Eire, She is powerful and wise.

I am surprised that She is still giving me lessons, but like a wise mentor- she does it with subtlety, gentleness and in whispers. Very often these lessons come in the quiet times, early morning just as I’m waking, while I’m walking solo along a creek, or sitting outside drinking my tea and listening to the birds.

Needless to say this lands hold on me is stronger than ever, or maybe it’s that I’m finally noticing the strength of that hold. I think I’m still digesting and percolating. That’s how my brain works, I think of the old fashioned percolator coffee pots…the water has to get heated, go up and filter through the coffee grounds, drip through the coffee, then that’s when you get the gold- the nectar of fresh coffee. Each of them separately, they are water, and coffee beans. Put them together and that’s when the magic happens. That’s kind of how I process information and events.

Memories of my trip float through my mind and one morning it was a memory of being on Cape Clear Island. I was back on Cape Clear, sitting outside with my morning tea. My lodgings were on a hill top and I could look over the North harbour, see stone walls. Not just the visible ones, but the traces of old stone walls- the plants had grown over them but you could still see their outline.

The blue turquoise of the ocean, the birdsong, and slight breeze.I could feel this place.

As I was holding that memory I wondered what it was about that place that had such a hold on me. I will likely never know, but I still feel it. Then other memories came up, both from Cape Clear and Inishmore Island.

I remember whenever I was around the people and they were speaking their native language, I could not understand anything they were saying, but for me, being there and hearing it, was comforting to me. It’s like I was being wrapped in a blanket of love, comforted and supported from a very caring mother. I know, it sounds weird, but that’s how it felt to me, every time.I once again have a feeling that it speaks to my ancestry DNA. It’s like my soul remembers a time when it spoke that language.

My time in Ireland was EPIC in so many ways, I pushed old beliefs and “cognitive errors” out of the way, broke through many layers of healing, dug deep down to find myself. Even now, over three months later, I am still learning and discovering the gifts that came home with me, and what pain and family legacy I left there.

I also have a hard time finding the right words to explain the connection and what I found in Ireland. I have a hard time conveying what happened to me during this trip, the growth that happened, but mostly how this land sung and spoke to me, on so many levels. You don’t find this in your travel guides, and maybe there are no words for it.

I was also having a hard time conveying the growth and journey that is still happening, and I will admit the frustration of feeling and knowing that the 2 worlds- pre and post Ireland- have not totally merged together. Once again, often words failed me.

Then I noticed this video on line, it t came up on my Facebook feed- a friend of a friend posted it- and it was perfect. It hit the nail on the head and helped me understand what had, and was happening to me. Have a look and listen after reading this post.

What really resonated with me were two things. He was telling a story- please watch to get the full understanding and beauty of this line. “We have moved so far, so fast during these last two and a half-moons that we must sit down and wait for our Souls to catch up”

I was in Ireland for ten weeks.I’d say thats close too , two and a half moons.

I heard that and thought “YES THAT”S IT!!!!.” That’s what’s happening, that’s one of the reasons I feel like I am between two worlds, this made so much sense. So I sit here on this December evening, thinking of my time in Ireland, and realizing She still has a lot to teach me. Now, instead of trying to make things happen, I will welcome the time it takes, be open and when the time is right, my soul will catch up, then some real lessons and realizations are going to happen. I have also come to understand that the Irish language, resonates deep within my DNA, and even if I can’t find the right words to describe all I have been through and experienced both while in, and post Ireland, I know somewhere, deep within my soul, there is a language that speaks for me. The two will and I think to some degree already have connected.

So pour yourself a hot drink, put your feet up and give yourself the next 20 minutes to watch and learn and be moved by this TEDxBerkely

The Irish Language and Beauty | Dónall Ó Héalaí | TEDxBerkeley

6 thoughts on “Waiting For My Soul Catch Up….

  1. ♥️♥️

    On Mon, Dec 3, 2018, 6:14 PM Suzy’s Epic Irish Odyssey suzy venuta posted: “Here it is December, and Ireland is still sending me > lessons, messages and inspiration. It does not matter that we are 7000 km > apart. Like a good mother, her love, encouragement and faith is with me > wherever I go. Eire, She is powerful and wise. I am sur” >


  2. Suzy, I just read the newspaper article about your award and the wonderful photo of you!!! Congratulations my friend, on a lifetime of learning, coping, recovery and discovery! You deserve this reward so very much! I’m so proud of you, your resilience, eagerness to learn and grow; commitment to opening the community’s mind to really hearing the words mental illness and embracing this in a way that helps everyone want to help each other. Your speaking engagements take a lot of courage, I’m grateful you have the guts and genuine authentic concern and caring to share your painful story for the betterment of all. Congratulations again Suzy, you are a remarkable woman!!! Love, Deb xo


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